Features

Face Facts: Are You A Poker Or A Stoker?

The Down The Line / Thousand Yard Stare

Brother got some down the line lazers. Photo: BadboyRyRy Miller
Two occasions when O mouthing is fine are a) pulling in at Backdoor and b) Anytime at all if your name has an Irish O' in it.
This aint my Welsh mate. He's never backhand bluetooth toobed on a 3'10" wearing a baseball cap with a moustache on his tits, as far as I know...
Weirdly, Zoolander is actually Curren's 2nd fave film of all time, after Back to School starring Rodney Dangerfield. Cuzza loves Rod D, more than he loves J-Bizzle. Photo: Miller
After an inspirational 300 yard noseride doing 'bored', wee Al got hit the inside section with 'So bored Im literally about to weep'

The Down The Line / Thousand Yard Stare

So much attention is given to nuances of form and technique in today’s frightening, fruity but still fun surf world.

We are delivered counsel, requested or not, on your positioning in the lineup, your positioning on the wave.

We are reminded of the importance of bodyshape, arms, legs, beard. We are bamboozled with nuances of hydrodynamic interaction of board and wave.

We are branded as cultural subsets within the broader surfing family according to our equipment, our line, and our hair.

Yet nobody seems to focus on the face. Not the wave face, but your actual face, the one on the front of your head.

Your grid, dial, mush, mug, kisser, Chevy Chase, boat race.

Here, Kolohe opts for the ‘down the line grimace’. The down the line grimace is generally aimed at a point 2.5 to 7 metres ahead. It might be to do with the kind of wave J-Bay is.

Whatever.

He’s got it right.