Plop sauvage can happen any time of year, but summer is probably peak season. More camping, more festivals, more outdoor drugs.

For full counsel, check our comprehensive guide to shitting away from home.

Picking your spot is important. Some like the danger element, the fear of getting caught. But that’s weird. When you think you’ve found a spot, retreat a further 5m into the undergrowth.

If you do get interrupted, stand up, pretend to be doing an innocent wee, then return to your squat stance and finish off once danger has passed.

Short on paper? We’ve got a a guide on how to wipe with one, too.