One European pro surfer we know, currently in the Top 100 on the Prime series bought one of those pump thingys, but it didn’t really work.

The only remedy is to get a girlfriend with a modest aperture, which might be a slightly plump one.

Otherwise, you need to get really energetic and proactive in the lovemaking scenario, to give yourself a competitive edge against your better-endowed, yet less skilled rival.

As another pro surfer (Rob Page) once famously said,

“I can’t touch the end, but I can bash the shit out of the sides…”

Not a bad mantra to live by.