2. BuddhISM

Buddhists came up with a lot of cool shit like karma, levitating, wearing thin floatey, bright coloured pants. Meditation, the lotus position, these are all things known to have increased tube time for some people, mainly in the 1970’s. Buddhists don’t eat meat, don’t drink booze, but are allowed to have sex. These days, it’s hard to find a yoga studio or even a front room that doesn’t have one of those giant three split canvas Buddha paintings staring down at you slightly patronisingly. If you were a real Buddhist, you might have to borrow boards, and if you broke one, you probably wouldn’t say sorry (no attachment to material goods).

This hideous board-to-head happened in Sri Lanka, the only country to have been continuously Buddhist since its arrival in the 3rd Century BC. Somehow, this poor girl garnered some seriously bad karma…

3. Rasta

Rastas have the best street cred of the monotheistic cults. Essentially a brand of Christianity, Rastas believe the Haile Selassie, a 20th century Emperor of Ethiopia to be the second coming of Jesus Christ. They also believe ganja weed grew on the tomb of King Solomon, and therefore must be smoked! They don’t eat meat or drink booze, and love, and I do mean love, reggae. Baldness, warned against in the Old Testament book of Leviticus, is staved off by growing dreads. Dreads can be tricky to surf with, mainly due to weight and getting in your eyes, while the whole surfing stoned vs. smoking after the sesh is one of the world’s great unresolved debates.