3. Beautiful

Photo: Ryan Foley

She stops traffic. Her bone structure is dainty. Her eyes sparkle like stars. Her lips. Her hips. The beautiful woman is one of the best things on Earth.

She is reason enough to live. The beautiful woman who uses her beauty is a dancer. She sways through a room and hearts beat all around. The beautiful woman is a gift.

And beauty, here, can mean many things. It can be classically defined, it can be the du jour look, it can be breasts like two chubby bear cubs. One element, or two, is enough to categorize a woman as beautiful.

4. Not Beautiful

The women who is not beautiful is fine, as a person, but she does not stop traffic. She does not stop anything except wanton sexual advances from sober men.

The not beautiful woman has been dealt a difficult hand and some make due better than others, working hard, etc. She knows she is not beautiful, that she has not even one redeeming physical element and it is a difficult hand.

And so, there are four possible combinations…

Amazing and beautiful: She is the woman you want to marry and the one you lust after and the one you want to be with all of the time. She melts your heart into a puddle and if she so wanted she could conquer the world.

Not amazing and beautiful: She is the woman that you only lust after. She is used and discarded. She may find love in a series of less than stellar male suitors but she is not often happy.

Amazing and not beautiful: Poor creature. She is a friend, a great friend, but never anything more. The saddest creature on earth.

Not amazing and not beautiful: She gets a job at Walmart and dreams empty dreams and gives birth to complacency. Let’s not think about her anymore.

And these are the types of woman.


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