Pro Surfer Admits ‘Missing Indo’

Elsewhere in Breaking News: People eat dinner, former World Champ prefers summer

Pro Surfer Misses Indo

A professional surfer has gone public via Instagram admitting ‘missing Indo’. Having broken a month-long silence on the topic ever since his return from a sponsor’s trip to the archipelago, the 26-year-old paid gushing tribute to the region’s waves, before launching a heart-rending personal appeal for a prompt return with the words ‘take me back to’. Whether or not the last comment was hint of a forthcoming Crowdfunding campaign, or a direct appeal to his airline sponsor/travel agent, is unconfirmed. 


People in Hats Eat Dinner


A woman in a hat ate dinner, outside, under string of lights in Seignosse, near Hossegor last week at an event that has been described as a ‘street food festival’. Nearby, a man in a rolled up beanie hat with a forearm tattoo of a triangle, had dinner too, outside, near a string of painted driftwood. The shocking scenes were well captured via drone footage, in 4k at 240 frames/second, as well over 650 Instagram accounts. While neither hats, forearm triangles or a heightened sense of self-fascination were mandatory, acccording to both the ‘teaser’ and the ‘full edit’ which promises to ‘drop’ soon, they were certainly advisable.

A spokesperson for the event said, “It’s great to see young people between the ages of, say, 41 – 55 out on the streets celebrating their own existence.”


World Champion Vows To ‘Hold on To Summer’ With Fermented Beverage


Former multiple World Longboard Champ Kelia Termini, née Moniz, took to her Instagram this week to admit to ‘holding on to summer’. Kelia who lives between Southern California and her native Hawaii, neither of which are famed for particularly harsh northern hemisphere winters, is said to have been privvy to inside information relating to a Seige of Leningrad winter ’41/42-esque climatic event.

The use of symbiotic cultures of bacteria and yeast (SCoBY) to ferment tea to make Kombucha to hang on to summer is one of many health benefits of the popular, overpriced drink that also include increasing libido and reversing grey hair.

There is no recorded use of the drink in Leningrad in 1941, where beseiged inhabitants instead ate their own wives and children.




Newsletter Terms & Conditions

Please enter your email so we can keep you updated with news, features and the latest offers. If you are not interested you can unsubscribe at any time. We will never sell your data and you'll only get messages from us and our partners whose products and services we think you'll enjoy.

Read our full Privacy Policy as well as Terms & Conditions.