Chef’s/tradeshow/Kuta ass is caused by hotness, humidity, chafing, perhaps not wiping enough.

A good friend of this website had a case of ring sting so severe, that despite general sympathies for the Palestinian cause, he had to call in military intervention from the Israeli armed forces.

Chef’s ass can spread across Biffins Bridge into the nutsack/leg interface, where it can become red, angry, hot and inflamed.

Short term relief is achieved by a shower (might sting though) followed by talc.

But much like Aids/cancer/heroin addiction, prevention is much better than cure.

Maintain a thorough wipe regimen, never buy the cheapest toilet paper, and above all treat your hoop like a packet of expensive biscuits: store in a cool, dry place.