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I’LL BUST SOME EGGNOG IN YOUR FACE



Happy Birthday Jesus, and anyone else who was unlucky enough to be born on Xmas Day.

Today is of course, Boxing Day on the island of Great Britain, also known off-island as St Stephen’s Day. St Steve was stoned to death by really angry Jews just outside the gates of Old Jerusalem for celebrating Jesus birthday, according to once-popular myth. I’m not sure if anyone got stoned to death here on the North Shore yesterday, but I did smell some Xmas bubonic chronic floating over the beach, I reckon they at least got stoned enough to whet the appetite for turkey sangas and snacks, if not actual death.
Boxing Day has been a good day for sport and world justice so far. The Engerland in the ascendancy against the evil Ausholes at the Boxing day test at the Melbourne Cricket Ground (they are so imaginative when it comes to nomenclature, those clever Australian wordsmiths!), The Hammers crushed the evil Fulham at the west London library, that atmosphere-less stadium full of spotty graduates in Abercrombie zip up hoodies, and the evil Geordies lost too! Ahhhhh. Mmmmmm. Yeeessssssss.
Meanwhile, jolly nice surfboarding conditions are settling in along the North Shore of Oahu, after a night of brutal rainstorms the surf now looks pretty damn fun.
Wherever you are this St Stevie day, don’t get stoned to death, don’t get crushed to death at the sales and don’t forget your thank you notes. I was forced to pen dozens of thank you notes by my folks each and every Xmas, but it made me the (half) man I am today.

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