2010 was an awesome year for sport and an awesome year for the world.
This is supposed to be a surfin website so here’s a bit of Kelly winning his tenth ASP World Title in PR in November. Will Kelly be back in 2011 for 11? Dunno, but I hope so. So does whoever wins the title in 2011, assuming it’s not him, coz winning it without him whilst he’s still the best around will have a little bit of a CJ ’01 vibe to it.
History was made in the very next event, when France’s Jeremy Flores became the first European surfer in history to win a top-level event, that event just happening to be the Pipemasters, the most prestigious of them all. Allez Mimi!
Still in watersports news, I got my boat permit from the French maritime authorities, meaning I can go six nautical miles from port. My license has a photo of me on it, and an anchor, and is laminated. Sick.
In land-based sports, the World Cup went down in South Africa and England were dogshit. Although that’s a bit sad, in all honesty most of the England players are horrid, with the exception of Crouchey, Fwank, Emile and Calamity. The rest of em are more or less rotten to the very core. Although England were absolute turd, they can take some minor comfort in the fact that they are not France, who were not only total dogshit, but pure evil, having little boo-hoo tantrums, going on strike(!) and getting sent home in a moody woody. As if their players weren’t badly behaved enough, their really weird coach Domenech, then, after losing fair and square, refused to shake hands with Carlos Alberto, coach of the hosting nation SA, and as a player captain of what was probably the greatest side ever to take to a football field, the Brazil 1970 team. Overall the World Cup was a triumph for good, with the team that plays the best football, Spain, winning. None of the Spain players, with the exception of Puyol and maybe David Villa, are particularly offensive. Meanwhile, most of the rest of the supposed big stars of the game were pretty shit. Maradona was a little fat hairy joke, Ronaldo was about as good as the pores of the skin on his putrid face are puss-free, Didier Drogba was pants, and Italy, with their ghastly sleeve tattoos, sculpted facial hair, hair and general personas, were an embarrassment to human beings.
Back in September, Europe beat the Seppos at golf, a game originally invented by the Scottish for those Scots to lazy slow or fat to enter the Highland Games. Europe smashed the Seppos, that’ll learn the bastards for throwing perfectly good tea into the Boston Bay in 1773, the awful wastrels.
Just recently, England retained the Ashes Down Under, meaning we have come away with the little urn 3 out of the last 4 Ashes series. It’s been painful, at times unbearable, growing up listening to those smug c***s gloating for the last twenty odd years. It’s been a long, long wait, and I intend to revel in it longer than taste or decorum would suggest. I’m sure you won’t mind, this is Australia we are talking about after all.
Speaking of good versus evil, Rarely have two people represented the polar opposites of good and evil as much as Sir Ian Botham and Merv ‘fat Freddy Mercury’ Hughes. Here’s Beefy smashing big Merv for 22 off one over, round about the last time England were better at cricket than the Ausholes…
Happy New Year, sports fans!