While ‘Pro’ still stands for ‘professional’, Wilko explores the boundaries of that word as an adjective, and we love him for it. Photo: Grambeau

PRO SURFER

Surf time:

Amazing. There is pretty much no better job for time in the water than actually getting paid to be in the water.

Money:

Varies greatly. The worst main sponsors we know of for a full time WQS pro pays about 1000/month, which doesn’t even cover flights to the comps, while finishing in the 50-100’s on the WQS might net you around $15,000 in prize money for the year. On the other end of the spectrum the very top Euro pros are rumoured to have multi-year contracts worth seven figures while Kelly is rumoured to be worth 22 million dollars… although that’s actually kinda shit when you consider that Wayne Rooney gets 20 million a year, and is fat, ugly and not even that good. Meanwhile, with a gram of coke costing a whopping 70 euros, the best sticky buds up to 20, and even average hookers around 80 euros a pop, you’re gonna need a decent salary to keep the wolf from the door and still have fun.

Travel Possibilities:

Similar to photog, but better.

Other:

At the many, many brand trips you do, you’ll all go to dinners and sit at a big table with the dude who comes to make sure you wear the right trunks, video guy, photog etc, etc. Somehow, even in places where they’ve never heard of you, womenfolk can smell which one of you is the famous one, and even if you have bad teeth/hair/physique/lisp, you’ll end the evening sliding it expertly into the hottest waitress’s bum while the others watch Boardwalk Empire on their laptops in the next room. That’s just the way it is.

Qualifications:

Ride a wave better than about 99.5% of the population…? You’re in!