A SPAIN IN THE ARSE
When we think of Spain, and surfing in Spain, we think of many things.
Upside down exclamation marks, for instance, and the way that together with their upright brethren they bookend a sentence as though it were an Adriano de Souza 8.5. Or the Spaniard’s sunny disposition, which clouds over somewhat in the line-up, where he’ll maybe scowl and hassle or maybe not but will definitely shout “¡Buena!” at the sight of every oncoming wave, possibly whilst wiggling furiously on a bodyboard. Or, if we are keen moviegoers, a bronzed Ray Winstone, with a stomach you could fry an egg on, lying poolside in orange speedos on a sunbed.
If we are the editor of Surf Europe, we think of a marvellous place to go for a poo. More than once has he made the trip across the French-Spanish border just to take an early morning, open-air shite in his favourite San Sebastián carpark. Simply because it feels better there.
Spain’s superiority in this department is a fact reflected in the vast store of Spanish expressions that rely on scatological imagery for their effect.
I shit in the milk!
I shit on your whore of a mother!
I shit on your dead relatives!
I shit on God!
All socially acceptable stock phrases, used variously to express anger, shock, injustice, or amazement. But Spain is also a marvellous place to go for a surf. Why not do both? Nobody’s stopping you. Here, in no particular order, are twelve of Spain’s best waves, as chosen and photographed by Javi “Pacotwo” Muñoz, almost certainly one Spain’s twelve best surf photographers.