Bells Beach, Torquay, Victoria, Australia.

It’s not the best wave in Australia.
It’s not the best wave in Victoria.
It’s not the best wave in Torquay.
It’s not even the best wave at Bells.

Now in its defence, it’s got soul. It’s got a proud, deep history. But whatever.

Perhaps the only thing worse than watching the event itself is listening to commentators imploring how hard it is to surf.

Some/every one will trot out the inevitable “Kooks don’t win Bells” quote, misattributed to everyone from Ned Kelly to The Duke. (It was actually, hang on, fuck it who cares…)

Bells’ high water Mark was Occhilupo in the Skins event in ’97. Probably.

But we’re scared to watch it again, just in case, like almost everything else from the 90’s, when you do, you realise it too was actually kinda… not that good after all.