The Beast is quiet, polite, charming. But something, somewhere deep inside is broken. Drunken, he puts his penis in another man’s pocket. He swings from lights. He punches faces. He loves tequila. Loves. In the morning, when he wakes, he has cuts on his cheeks, lip, knees and knuckles. He loves tequila. He has a slow, leaning bottom turn but snaps hard off the top. He has curly hair, bushy eyebrows, and an above average sized dong when floppy, average when erect. Nobody wants to go on surfs trips with The Beast, and those that do are always ones who recently broke up with their girlfriends and made plans in a hurry, in desperation. All of the best memories of the best surf trips involve The Beast. All of them.