Life is so full of choices. But death isn’t. (We’re all agreed on this).
Before you die, have a good think about which team you’re on (here’s the part where the arguments start). Most of the religions want you on their team (except the Zoroastrians)… but what’ll each one do for your surfing?
Will you surf more or less if you go all god-y?
What is the religion of tuberiding? If you it get it wrong, will you languish in eternal flat n’ onshore-ness? Can you even surf in heaven? And if not, wtf?
Christians have a claim on their guy, JC, walking on water on the Sea of Galilee two thousand years ago. Same dude also had long hair and a beard, and liked sandals… all sounding kind of surfie so far.
Today, Christian surfers are mainly American, or South American. The Hobgoods, Richie Collins, Sage Erickson, Gabby Medina, Felipe Toledo have all famously thanked Jesus for sending them set waves.
However. Christians have historically been the chief persecutors of arts of shred, and tried to ban the Hawaiians from surfing in the 18th century.
Apparently unrepentant (how’s that for irony?) three hundred years later, they tried to ban me from surfing on The Isle of Lewis, Scotland, due to it being a Sunday, but I went anyway. Ha!
Buddhists came up with a lot of cool shit like karma, levitating, wearing thin floatey, bright coloured pants.
Meditation, the lotus position, these are all things known to have increased tube time for some people, mainly in the 1970’s.
Buddhists don’t eat meat, don’t drink booze, but are allowed to have sex. These days, it’s hard to find a yoga studio, or front room that doesn’t have one of those giant three split canvas Buddha paintings staring down at you, patronisingly.
If you were a real Buddhist, you might have to borrow boards, and if you broke one, you probably wouldn’t say sorry (no attachment to material goods).