Features

East Anglia Surfers Undeterred By Daily Mirror North Sea Shark Hysteria

"Am I baaa-ver'd? Do I look baaaaaaverd though" said an anonymous East Runton ripper.

Penning shark scare stories can lead to crippling self-doubt, nay, loathing.

‘Is this why I went to journalism school?’ You ask yourself, sleepless at 3am, pyjamas soaked through with sweat and regret, while the Google Analytics realtime overview goes richter…

No it isn’t.

Because you didn’t go to journalism school.

The Daily Mirror, one of the world’s very worst newspaper/websites, may not have an elite team of marine biology correspondents. They may not have many scruples, either.

Today they report that a ‘monster’ Great White shark may be ‘lurking’ in the North Sea off the English coast, ‘mutilating’ the corpses of marine mammals with ‘Jaws-like’ bites.

Hmmmmmm.

Probs not though. But sharks being in the sea, eating/biting (but probably not ‘mutilating’) other fish/animals shouldn’t come as a major surprise to anyone. How else they gonna get calorific intake? How else to nourish their rigs?

Dead. Seal, Great Yarmouth. Photo: Lauren Gillies

Anyway, when we think of England’s famous East Anglia coast, when we think of well-crafted if perhaps a touch wordy news entertainment articles, we think of Billy Wilson, former SE online editor, former Norfolk lifeguard and current North Sea local shredder.

Billy said, “The Norfolk surf tribe are remaining calm and carrying on. It was 2ft brown and frigid the other day, but that didn’t deter us from the pursuit of stoke. As for monster Great Whites lurking offshore, I’ve never seen one, but I’ll keep an eye open.”

You see, the voice of reason. So wise for one so young.

Meanwhile, we urge the good people of East Anglia, and the hordes of visiting surfers from all over the world that come to sample her legendary breaks to not let the Daily Mirror put them off their shred, or their porridge.