Some very fine folk call London home. Sherlock, Dangermouse, you, presumably… and we’re sure there’re others. There must be.
So you find yourself not just landlocked, but London-locked.
Sure, you’ve tried to remain upbeat about the quality of cultural distractions, mitigating your lack of stoke with boasts of cutting edge entertainment, arts, fashion, cuisine and so on.
You drink shade-grown organic Rwandan espresso and eat sourdough crumpets for breakfast, ‘vibrant’ street food for lunch. And how you earn! Perhaps best yet, your Tinder is bubbling hot.
But none of this masks the reality that you live in a village of 10 million people, and no waves. The reality is your tubes are District & Circle line (the best one), and that hurts.
Surely, you’re in need a wee coastal excursion.
Illustration by linguistine.com