Let’s talk about poo-stances.
The surfer who stands as though perched upon the toilet seat is held to have committed the cardinal sin of style. The rigid right-angles hurt the eyes of the narrow aesthete, offend the delicate sensibilities of the purist, and elicit the ire of the online commenter. The culprit is mocked and ostracised, and an asterisk is marked beside his every achievement.
But the poo-stance need not be a badge of shame. Were you cursed with mutually repellent magnetic poles for knees? Do they refuse to speak to one another like feuding relatives? When you traverse the wave face do you assume the posture of one performing a delicate teabagging operation?
Be not afeard. You are, after all, in excellent company. Here are ten highly distinguished surfers who have overcome obstacles both physical and social to gain competitive, commercial, even artistic success. Their poo-stances are exemplary, ranging in severity from mild bowleggedness to full-body grimaces of constipation, hands clamped firmly round the disabled rails for support.