One of the advantages of tattoos is that they make you look well ‘ard. Look at Bob, for instance, or Koby, or Sunny. All automatically at least 35% scarier. Combine with boardshorts that almost reach your ankles and you’ll officially look hard as fook; any wave you want in the line-up shall be yours.

This is especially true when one of said tattoos is a giant portrait of a Mexican wearing a sombrero and holding a shotgun, plastered over your entire back. Around the brim of the sombrero is written “Martinez” (only half-finished in the above photo); below the portrait, meanwhile, are the words “Santa Bruta” — slang for Santa Barbara.

Best avoided if you have no ancestral links to Mexico; adapt image in accordance with your own cultural heritage.