Jed Smith came to stay at my flat not so long ago. A delightful fellow, though I’m sorry to report that he pissed on our toilet floor by the bucket-load. This he did on a consistent basis, which by the end of his two-week stay had resulted in a fair accumulation of piss.
In certain parts of northern Spain, which is where my flat happens to be situated, cider is a popular beverage, and it is customary to pour it from a great height into a tilted glass; air bubbles are thereby released into the cider, imparting a short-lasting sparkling effect and greatly enhancing the flavour. The process is a highly technical one, however, and even a highly skilled practitioner cannot hope to spill less than 20%. Jed fared similarly in his attempts to guide his unruly torrent into the bowl, in fact 20% spillage would have been good going by his standards.
It’s testament to his fine company that we didn’t turf the cunt out. Urinary inaccuracy aside, a more obliging and agreeable guest you would be hard-pressed to find, and you shouldn’t hesitate to invite him into your abode. In addition to being an excellent guest, he is also an excellent host — you can listen to the latest episode of Ain’t That Swell, presented by Jed and his co-host Vaughan Dead, above. Expect the following:
Jed and Vaughan-Dead return after two unexplained months off air to talk Europe, Fanning’s judging troubles, Italo Ferreria’s air reverse that wasn’t heard around the world, Jed being a sensationalist click-baiting swine, Dick’s Sand Bar in Hossegor screening live streams of pricks sinking le piss, and that’s the first ten minutes!
We give the most comprehensive World Title Preview you’ll hear on radio (which, given there’s what maybe two other surfing podcasts, means sweet FA).
We answer the Retirement Question on behalf of the ageing war horses on tour (Taj, Parko, Kelly etc). We reminisce on the remarkable story of the Burrow Family (Taj, Nancy, and Joy). We ramble incoherently and way too earnestly about politics because a surf media mate interviewed me and Vaughan’s hero Peter Garret during the week.
We get stuck into an Ain’t That Swell favourite: The Kelly Slater Pontification Session; celebrate the holy matrimony of our Sally Fitz and National Rugby League hardman, Trent Merrin; and denounce the unholy matrimony of SUP’ing and foil boarding.
That and much much more, this week on Ain’t That Swell.