“Do you think the WSL suffocates personality or progression more? And if you could fire one of the commentators, which one?”

Part time charger/aerialist/troll Albee Layer on IG on Day 1 of the Hurley pro Trestles waiting period.

 

“C’mon guys!!! This job aint easy”

WSL commentator Pete Mel in response to Albee via IG. (Turps seemed to get most of the votes for the flick)

 

“Coming up next, the articulate Ace Buchan takes on the thick Aussie drawl of Stu Kennedy”

Nouveau riche Ronnie Blakey forgets where he came from (unlike Jenny from the Block) and outs himself as a bogan-ist, live on air.

Not sure exactly what the articulate Ace is doing here.  Sure hope it isn’t edging. Photo: Sherman/WSL

 

“The desire is almost too much. It’s all about making peace with yourself to find the flow, for Gabriel at the moment”

One WSL pundit nigh impossible to take the piss out of, the eloquent, insightful, and ever-smiling Barton Lynch, after Gabby’s defeat to Jaddy.

 

“Maybe getting a little irritable – and it pays off…”

Classic Turpel diplomacy on Flores’ infamous temper overcoming a generally easier to like Connor Coffin in Rd 3

 

“He’s a really fun and inspiring surfer out here, he kinda has a different approach”

John John employs Turps-esque diplomacy to damn Bede’s Trestles shred with the feintestof praise.

 

“Cute, but deadly”

Steph Gilmore on Silvana Lima. Reports that Andrex are considering replacing the iconic Golden Retriever puppy with the 32-year-old Brazilian journeywoman are as uet unconfirmed.

Awww. Photo: Sherman/WSL

 

“What happened yesterday (the re-surf with Fanning) was kind of a blessing in disguise”

Kanoa Igarashi. From the viewers point of view, very, very, well disguised…

Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the Earth. Photo: Sherman/WSL

 

“I like the fact that he’s just catching waves… I think you gotta do that”

Pottz not wanting to commit too hard to a radical, as yet unproven theory on elite level surfing competition tactics.

 

“I was talking with Volcom coach Matt Bemrose and he said he thought Joan had noticed that the guys making heats were the ones who got busy and caught waves”

Rosy Hodge, giving yet more closely-guarded tactical secrets away, all in the name of journalistic integrity.

 

“Do airs!”

– Leonardo Dora, Yago’s dad and coach during the Azores Airlines Pro Final, with the kind of specialist advice the layman could never dream up. Ok ok it wasn’t at Trestles, but it was the last heat before.

 

 

“The key thing for me is his equipment. If Jeremy’s on a good board, he’s happy”

Pottz’ searing insight into the complex and intricate hydrodynamic relationship between surf craft and rider, and the key identifiable emotional outcomes.

 

“We’re basing our base score on the actual surfing… judging the surfing on the wave”

WSL Head Judge Richie Porta, proving the commentators aren’t the only folk willing to provide game-changing technical scoop, during QF3 aka the clash of the J Flos.

 

“If he gets through this heat, he’s gonna have to put it out there in the final.”

Richie Lovett reveals Jordy’s strategy, also known as the Burgundy to Cornerstone at the Pool Party Tactic.