Imagine you’re Slater.

You’re Kelly Slater. Not Nigel. Not Christian… The 11 time ASP World Champ. The undeniable greatest of all time. The #G0AT.

Now imagine you could jump inside Kelly’s bod and do whatever took your fancy for a day. What would you get up to? Be honest now…

Would you perhaps flick thru the lil’ black book and hit up a few celebrated X’s?

Would you maybe just get a few of the muse-o lads together (Vedder, Martin, Johnson) and jam on geetars?

Would you get heli’d to the Ments, P-Pass, just to see what it looks like really deep inside the tube? Would you head up to stuffy old St Andrews and play 18 holes?

Hell no! Not us! If we were Slater, we’d design and build our own eponymous wave pool. Hold an event there, surf it at maybe 60% (with a still-healing broken foot) wearing a gold singlet with no.11 on the back. Put the current world no.1 and actual maillot jaune wearer (Jordy) in blue. Put the reigning world champ (John) in a pukey orange. Put all the rest of em… heck who cares?!?

Would you wear gold at your own event, even if you were ranked 26th in the world (with 7th, 9th, 4th placed finishes the last 3 years previous)?

Do you even like Spandau Ballet?