THE ASP WORLD SURFING AWARDS: TITS, TUXES AND TIARAS

Yep it’s surfing’s most glamorous evening, just surpassing the ASP Scaffolder’s Christmas Party in terms of glitz, ritz and ditz. That’s the right the ASP World Surfing Awards kicked off the 2014 pro surfing year on the Gold Coast in a sea of rented Tuxedos and women surfers desperately trying to shoe horn broad shoulders into LBD’s. The results, well the results were as follows. Heat Magazine, eat your heart out.

Julian Wilson and his girlfriend. If you squint hard enough, whilst inserting a finger up your bottom, you can almost see a left nipple.
Julian Wilson and his girlfriend. If you squint hard enough, whilst inserting a finger up your bottom, you can almost see a right nipple.
Kelly and Kalani. He might be a 11 times world champ, but he can't iron a shirt for shit.
Kelly and Kalani. He might be a 12 times world champ, but he can’t iron a shirt for shit.

 

We weren't going to mention the word threesome, until we just did. World Longboard champ Kelia Moniz in the middle of something special.
We weren’t going to mention the word threesome, until we just did. World Longboard champ Kelia Moniz in the middle of something special.
Brokeback Banquet as Taj Burrow and Jon Gannon park the horses.
Brokeback Banquet as Taj Burrow and Jon Gannon park the horses.
2013 runner up Tyler Wright. Tyler made the night despite having a bluebottle wrapped around her forehead. Impressive huh?
2013 runner up Tyler Wright. Tyler made the night despite having a bluebottle wrapped around her forehead. Impressive huh?
Last week we overheard someone calling Sally Fitzgibbons Sally Shitsribbons. We found that funny.
Last week we overheard someone calling Sally Fitzgibbons Sally Shitsribbons. We found that funny.
Malia Manuel. If you look at her teeth long enough, your retinas burst into a thousand tiny fragments. Worth it though.
Malia Manuel. If you look at her teeth long enough, your retinas burst into a thousand tiny fragments. Worth it though.
Piccolo Clemente. Yes, that Piccolo. The one who was supposed to be at the Polo Awards night, but bagged a trophy anyway.
Piccolo Clemente. Yes, that Piccolo. The one who was supposed to be at the Polo Awards night, but bagged a trophy anyway.

 

 

 

 

 

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