Tail-high whizzfuckery in the shallow end can take its toll on a man’s genou. Photo: Ryan Miller

Romain Cloitre has returned from an enjoyable N Shore campaign, staying at the rather marvelous Oakley house at OTW (with on-form roomies Seabass and Melling) with a crocked knee. Recovering in the CERS sports rehab centre in Capbreton, which boasts splendid views of Prevent and Santosh and former inmates like Ronaldo (fat one), Ashley Cole and a trillion rugger buggers no ones ever heard of, Cloitros said, “Yeah I’m feeling good. I’ll be back in the water again soon.”