I’ve got a really bad rub in the groinal region, and it’s Kelly Slater’s fault.

Yesterday eve I was at the Cream Cafe at Bourdaines stealing some electricity and internet after a knackering day’s surfing (really good all day in Seignosse yesterday). Then I got an answer phone message from Timo.

“Just got the call. Kelly’s paddling out at pro-peak in ten minutes, let’s go!”

I pulled on my wetsuit, grabbed the swim fins and started pegging it south down the beach looking for the crew. Couldn’t see em anywhere. ‘Shit, it’s been more than ten minutes, maybe I missed em…’ I thought.

I kept running on the sand all the way to Estagnots. It was a really hot afternoon, and my crown jewels were not enjoying the dry wetsuit run in the least bit, let me tell you that much. When I got to Estagnots I went to Timo’s place, he was a bit delayed, due to being on the throne.

We then walked back along the beach all the way to Bourdaines, when we spotted Smelly Skater ripping the right, put our wetsuits on and swam out. Timo had his camera and flash housing and I had a little flash thingy. Reubyn Ash was out there too, trying to hook up with us. Only problem was all the kooks. Even Kelly was having to pull back on sweet set waves coz there’d be three imbeciles on pop outs falling out of the lip sideways either side of him, completely oblivious to the fact that were burning the eight time world champion. It’s a bit like some donkey from the pub footie team sliding in to Lionel Messi from behind on the Barcelona training ground. Do you reckon that happens often?

Meanwhile the Billabong Pro Bakio kicked off yesterday at, er, Bakio, in 1-2ft dribble. Jeremy won his first round heat, again. Great work. Aritz got a wildcard due to injuries and beat AI in round 1, solid. ASP Europe surfers have had all time record participation in WCT competition in the last couple of weeks, with Jeremy, Miky, Marlon, Aritz, Michel, Tiago, Hodei and Manoa all competing in WCT heats in the Euro leg this year.

Meanwhile, I’m desperately seeking moisturizer, talc and tracky bums to nurse myself back to full power.