Career hypochondriac Archi Jaeckin, aka the glass man, aka sick note has been busted so hard.

Two days ago he came to work with a massive neck brace on, winced and groaned his way thru the day with tales of how gnarly his neck condition is.

The team was understandably concerned, given the level of pain he appeared to be in and the apparent seriousness of the condition. About 3pm that day he attempted to take his neck brace off, which was performed with the caution of a team of paramedics removing Evil Kineval’s helmet after he’d fallen 2000 ft down the Grand Canyon.

‘Poor Archi’ lamented the SE faithfull, rallying behind their man. ‘Hope he’s gonna be OK…’ ‘Will he ever surf again…?’

The answer of course, is yes.

The very same man was seen sprinting across the beach with his surfboard yesterday, looking very much better, miraculously. When his name was called by a passing car, he even quickly craned his neck around with the lubricated ease of a Barn Owl fed only on cod liver oil.

If you feel you’ve been lied to by a loved one, friend or colleague about how injured they are, or if you have any questions you’d like to ask regarding pretending to be hurt/ill and being obsessed with various phantom medical conditions, please email: [email protected] immediately.