Gordon Devonshire writes:

Saw this on one of those press-release websites, quoted from a dude with a stand up board magazine, regarding the monster swell approaching the Hawaiian Isles:

“True Meaning of El Nino, Bigger than ’69, 75′-76′ or 84′

Forcasting ‘The 100 Year Wrath’ swell approaching

I’ve been reading the maps and looking at charts for the last 10 years and got a pretty good read on what’s coming. The last two big swells this December I had right on the money. This next one coming is not just going to be big. This one will be destructive. During the 75′-76′ season, I saw Jerry’s Sweet shop get cleaned out. And the restaurant was across Haleiwa Beach Park on the mountain side of Kam Highway. Anahulu Bridge had waves of 5-6 feet running through it. Around March 1984, I saw a wave go from Kaena Point clear through Waimea Bay. It had to have been at least 60 feet or over 100 foot faces pouring through. In the last four weeks I’ve seen the swells drop lower and lower in the upper Pacific and the fetch had been missing us each time. Well, this time this next one is really west and looks to be pointing directly at us. Don’t take this one lightly. If it does hit direct, there will be destructive activity along the northwest and west shores of Kauai and Oahu. If you’ve ever seen houses slide off foundations on the north shore of Oahu, this one has that same kind of power. Bottom line, be careful, be ready and and watch this one. This will be no tourist, sightseeing matter. I call it “The 100 Year Wrath”. Almost hope it doesn’t hit but looks like this system is getting stronger.”

I saw, I saw, I was there when, I got it on the money… Cripes! Doesn’t sound so much like a forecast as the introduction to some kind of swell-observing legend’s autobiography. Shouldn’t a forecast maybe have some quantitative info about the size of the swell, period, direction, time it hits, you know, data…? Is the ‘1oo year wrath’ twice as gnarly as the ’50 year storm’ that Bohdi tackled at Bells in Point Break?? Without meaning to sound like too much of a tosser, at yet at the same time pointing out that I do (soz) have a degree in Oceanography, fetch can’t ‘miss’ you. Fetch is the distance wind blows over the ocean surface, a numeric value measured in miles (if you’re American) or km (everywhere else). A numeric value can’t miss you (unless it’s 69, which continues to avoid me). The swell can miss you, not the fetch, Soz to split pubes, but hey. I just can’t help myself. (p.s. I thought the true meaning of El Nino was Fernando Torres…)

Anyway, I don’t have any pics in stock of the Summer of ’69 or Bryan Adams, I don’t have highlights from the 75-76 season (when Liverpool just pipped QPR for the title), or a copy of Orwell’s 1984. But I do have a pic of Archi from the ASP Europe ‘big yourself up’ awards night tother day in le Rock Food. There has been a recent flurry of awards nites in a vain attempt to fill the aching void left by the credit-crunched 2009 hiatus of the Surf Europe Awards.

My old man’s a dustman… One of the things I particularly like is the caption, ‘Surf Europe French Editor and journalist…’ implying that being French Ed of SE doesn’t make you a journalist… Quite right, too, it certainly don’t. Having only just finished his double shift as a bin man, Arch didn’t even have time to change.

The North Atlantic is also on the blob too. Get ready.