Can anyone please answer this question? Why are surf feature films so utter shit? I just came across the trailer to Drift, the latest attempt by a studio to put surfing at the heart of a feature film. This time it’s made by Aussies, who should know better and stars Sam Worthington. Now while I haven’t seen the actual film, if the bad hair, single fin aerials and clunky dialogue of the film trailer below is anything to go by, it looks like it could be another cliche ridden turd factory.

It comes hot on the heels of the Chasing Mavericks movie, which despite an enormous Hollywood budget and some of the best actual surfing stunts and footage ever captured, is still is as cheesy and as smelly as a tramp’s cheesy dick… and just as palatable. The tag line, “It’s about finding that one thing that sets you free” is pure Hollywood schmaltz. How about finding a script that doesn’t make surfers want to gouge their eyes out with sharpened spoons?

It’s now been more than 35 years since Big Wednesday was released, and yet despite the numerous attempts and millions of bucks spunked on countless movies, no other surf film has come close to capturing the depth, humour and emotion of that coming of age surf flick. Drift and Chasing Mavericks seem destined to be the latest two to be added to the turd pile.

Surely surfing has some interesting stories to tell, and surely there are some creative filmakers out there that want to tell them. My question is, where the fuck are they?