Mark Occhilupo
For a guy who ignores syntax and likes to eat syllables for breakfast, Occ does a remarkably good job at talking about nothing for lengths of time. Legend status adds credibility and a lack of filter makes him honest. Everyone loves Occ, don’t they? Some of his highlights include replying on air to the conversation the webcast producer is having in his earpiece… Gold.

e.g. “Hey I think I’ve surfed here before, I might have been here, um does anyone actually know? Um anyway yeah, for sure, look, hey, unreal Joey, he’s an unreal surfer aw look they’re gonna cuddle I’m actually getting emotional right now…”

Sean Doherty
Respected Australian author and journalist (“One of the great wrrri-terrrs of our sport” as Turps loves to call him), he has been on the microphone for over decade and experience shows. Alas so too do his brutal rural Australian vowels. Sean-O’s provincial Australiana blue collar vowels are roughly the same size as the sum of Uluru, a Holden V8 303 engine and Errol Flynn’s cock, times a hundred. He wears the Australia flag, proudly, and has thus been accused of bias,  perhaps not helped by the fact he is Parko’s media manager/apologist. As far as the WCT, has not survived the USA based ZoSea cull, but we suspect he’ll be back.

e.g. “We-he-he-he-hell, Kelly Slaaaaydah, scor-hoh-hoh-hoh-re’s droppin’ Jowweeee, something noorrrrth of an aayyyt pooyyynt rooyyyyd…”

Sal Masakela
The former E! Network TV presenter and ESPN “voice of action sports” adds some star dust and high level broadcasting experience to the mix. Loves his surfing and loves his Kelly Slater, surely Sal has better jobs to do than follow the tour around all year. Or has he? Perhaps not the most accomplished of commentators, one top webcast director/producer recently described his own borderline miracle-performing  credentials as, “I’m the guy that made Sal Masakela sound good.”