Are you over the age of 12 but under the age of 18, and will you still be on November 16th this year? Do you believe you have a God-given right to rule over your fellow groms — to subject them to your tyrannical laws, to behead them when they drop in on you, to steal their girlfriends and keep them as your royal mistresses? Quiksilver may have just the competition for you.
It’s called King of the Groms, and former winners include current world champion Gabriel Medina, who won the 2009 edition after recording a perfect heat score of 20/20 in the final. The competition’s back for 2015, but this time with a brand new format. Entrants must first of all post a series of short Instagram clips @quiksilver, on the basis of which 30 groms will be selected to advance through to Round 2. If you get to this stage you’ll have to film a longer clip of two minutes, which will be uploaded onto the Quiksilver website. 10 surfers will then progress into the final — 7 chosen by online voters, 3 by a judging panel composed of Jeremy Flores, Dane Reynolds and Craig Anderson — which will be broadcast live from a top secret location some time later in the year. We can’t be arsed to explain the finer details here, so head to the Quiksilver King of the Groms website for further enlightenment.
But perhaps you’re a die-hard republican, and refuse to participate in the King of the Groms on principle? We admire your moral courage. There’s always the Rip Curl Grom Search, which despite its more progressive politics sticks to a conservative competition format. Here’s the European schedule:
Croyde (Devon) the 20th & 21st of June
Porthcawl (Wales) the 11th & 12th of July
Watergate Bay (Cornwall) the 15th & 16th of August
Guadeloupe (French Carribean) from the 25th & 26th of April
Capbreton (Landes) from the 8th to the 10th of May
Anglet (Basque Coast) from the 8th to th 14th of July
Sables d’Olonne (Vendée) the 12th & 13th of September
Somo (Cantabria) from the 15th to the 17th of May
Sopelana (Basque Country) from the 28th to 30th of August
Peniche from the 1st to the 3rd of July
Scheveningen — waiting period is all of November’s weekends
Banzai (Santa Marinella) — waiting period is all of April’s weekends
Somwhere in Europe from the 8th to the 15th of November
Full details on the Rip Curl Grom Search website.