The world’s best surfers have been going through hell, attempting to deal with a extended flat spell in the South-France, Surf Europe reports. “ I went to San Sebastian on Friday,” said one surfer ranked in the mid-20s, “so that was that Spain done. And I had lunch at the harbour in Biarrtz, but since then it’s been four days of just hanging around Hossegor, it’s killing me.”

San Sebastian was fun, for an afternoon.

Another pro surfer, ranked near 9th was also struggling. “I’ve have two store signings, and failed to attend another three, but the days are so long here, it’s actually driving me insane.”
Another surfer on the bubble said the break has been extra difficult, as he has a young family in California. “I looked into flights to go home for the weekend, but it was too difficult. I mean I love golf, but realistically by the third day of 18 holes I was ready to smash that club against my opponent’s face.”

Its the ASP not the PGA for chrissakes.

“We thought about Bordeaux, and the wine regions, but being in the competition we thought that was a bit risky,” said another surfer hoping to get a result in the Quik Pro. “And if I have to surf those fucking two footers at the Wavegarden again, as I seem to be contractually obliged to, I might be forced to give it all away and get back on the QS.”
“I started off just training,” said a world title hopeful, “but you can’t push yourself too much, day after day.  The darkest day was Sunday evening, when I finished the Breaking Bad box set. I literally had nothing to do. It was a really a time I had to dig deep.”
“Hiring a moped was kinda cool,” said a surfer destined not to re-qualify. “And the SUP sessions on the Hossegor du Lac took a two-hour chunk out of the day, but we are professional surfers not time fillers, and there’s only so much we can take.”
With conditions set to improve, it looks like the surfers will have finally dealt with what was obviously a very difficult few days. “The cocaine helped, but with the missus in town, I could  hardly hit the nightclubs,” sighed a Brazilian surfer. “I just want the competition to start, this can’t go on.”


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