The Luxury Good Makers
The Italians and the French could easily be in bigger trouble than they are but they make Gucci and YSL and the Chinese love love love Gucci and YSL and so the Italians and French still get to look down their moustaches at others. They feel, in their hearts, that a rising, even if artificially low, Chinese currency floats all boats. But they still don’t like the Chinese. They don’t like anybody. Except for Carla Bruni. Both Italians and French love Carla Bruni – apart from the ones that hate her.

Leo Fioravanti does not make luxury goods, but Giorgio Armani does and word is that Giorgio personally made a suit for Leo! Photo: Christie. Portrait: Testemale

The Scandinavians
The world has not changed for hundreds of years in Scandinavia. The people are tall and often blond. They carry arcane grudges against each other and against the Soviet Union. Aside from the Finns (who?!?), they are completely unaware of the Euro and sometimes go to France with pockets full of Francs. Their birthrates are moderate and their food is bland and health is for all. Clean cold air and hot hot cedar rooms are for all. They sometimes hear about a plague they have unleashed around the world called IKEA but they forget about it as soon as they eat meatballs.

Scandi pro shredder Freddie Meadows tears a Swedish windswell a new one! Photo: Flindt