Ahh the joys of the European summer; the endless traffic, the flaccid German penises, the hundred thick low tide crowds, the mile long post park walk are all, unfortunately, coming to an end. The nights are drawing in, the caravan parks are emptying and autumn is on its way. Here are few tips to help you with this very difficult seasonal transition.
Rock The Boardies
Stick with boardshorts as long as you can, even until mid-November. Sure you can top it with a long sleeve vest, but nothing screams I am holding onto summer than freezing your left tit off as 15 degree water washes past your left testicle, or right ovary.
Stick With The Crowds
Just cause the crowds are thinning, doesn’t mean you have to surf alone. It’s always best to find the most crowded bank on the beach and surf that one. After all, everyone can’t be wrong and why risk a 100 yard scan up the beach?
Enjoy The Beanie
At least, the beanie is finally coming into it’s own. Those three months of hot weather where you persevered with this most useful of fashion accessory, your scalp a hotbed of sweat and itch, is now paying off, and you can wear it, at least early in the morning, with relative comfort.
Don’t Ditch The Fish.
Your summer funboard has become an extension of you, its thick rails, wide swallow and wooden details your reason for living, your mode of operandi. Now sure you haven’t done a real tight arc in the pocket since June, but just because the waves are better, and hollower come Autumn, there’s no real reason to lose that feeling of speed, retro cool and lack of hold in the tube.
A Local Attitude
Keep acting like a local, even, or especially, if you aren’t. In summer with so many transient surfers in such numbers it’s pretty impossible to work out who lives in the hood and who doesn’t. Often it just comes to down to attitude. And why lose that attitude, just cause all the holidaymakers have come back from whence they came?
Hold On To The Bronze
Hold on to the bronze. Your tan is everything, and without it, you will be lost, pasty and insignificant. A quick trip to Indo can always top up the bronze, or a more affordable sun lounge mission to the Algarve might be in order. And lets not rule out the fake spray tan, a tool for the true metrosexual and Autumn hater combined.
With these tips, Autumn doesn’t need to be such of an ordeal. You can survive the morning offshores, put up with the relatively empty carparks and even deal with the less frazzled bar staff. Its never easy, but then again what transitions are?