In the latest instalment of #Tournotes:

MCs Strider and Turps spit bars in the early morning dark, backstage badinage shoots back-and-forth between competitors, John John is chaired up the beach, Hawaiian flag aloft, left buttock resting on Pyzel's shoulder, right buttock on childhood friend Kiron Jabour's, Kelly Slater sort of tries a little bit to look pleased for rather than jealous of his young protégée, free Corona flows like water, and a general air of jollity and triumph prevails.

All of this is filmed, of course, on the iPhone of Peter King, and the result is the most compelling Tournotes in months.