DANE RYDDSDEYNOLDS! Sorry, it gets hard to spell beyond a certain threshold of sexual excitement.

Anyway. First of all, we'd like to extend our congratulations to Dane on his first successful act of procreation, performed around 9 months ago with girlfriend Courtney and recently born out in the form of little Sammy Reynolds (see below).

Now, here's a celebratory air-reverse (above). It's in "5K", whatever that means. Apparently, there's more to come.

Also, to the moustachioed man facing the camera while Dane Reynolds, his mind awhirl with possibilities, streaks down the line behind him, WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU THINKING YOU STUPID BASTARD?

hi everyone ???????? this is sammy, hes 10 days old. i'd say happy mothers day to @napkinapocalypse but she's right next to me so i'll tell her in person ???????????????? oh and ya, i'm aware that i look like a creep in this pic lol ????????

A photo posted by dane reynolds (@sealtooth) on