The general consensus seems to be that the Peruvian left-hand point-break Chicama is the longest wave in the world. We can’t really be arsed to spend any time checking our facts on Google, and we certainly aren’t about to do any original research of our own, so we’ll happily toe the party line on this one — the long, wally party line. The sometimes slightly fat, often a wee bit slow, not always the most exciting, but always very friendly, generally speaking lovely and spankable, not wholly dissimilar to my Aunt Delia now I think about it, occasionally even opening its love-tunnel (1:15) party line.

So here it is, the longest wave in the world. The two surfers are the Basque Country’s Kepa Acero — who has a bit of a thing for long, reeling left-handers, the kinky bastard — and California’s Cyrus Sutton. Film/edit by Cliff Endsley.