It’s just wonderful here on lovely Madeira Island.

It’s my fourth trip here, and I just can’t get enough of the joint. Im staying in the botanical gardens in Canico, and it’s just off the hook. Im by the pool on a massive cliff overlooking the big blue sea, eyes peeled for migrating whales and listening to the chorus of several bullfrogs who are eaither really hungry or ready to do the no pants dance with female frogs, or a bit of both.

On the subject of frogs, there are hardly any here. French people I mean. They aren’t many Rosbif either, seeing as the pound is crap. There are alot of Germans though.

One rosbif who is here is my mum, Linda. Yesterday Linda and I took the car hire for a spin and did a tour of the island. Apart from a few new tunnels, its pretty much as stunning as I remember. Probably the highlight so far has been the jacaranda blossom. It’s a tree native of South America that is in full bloom here right now, like purple/blue blossom and it really is a sight to behold. Marvellous.

We drove the west coast and stopped in Jardim do Mar, where I usually stay. I showed ma around the village and where I used to stay at Cecilia’s. As we were walking through the lanes I saw a local villager I thought I recognized, Armando. I called his name and we chatted for a bit. I was pretty stoked that he remembered my name, even though I havent been here for 6 years. But then I remembered that the next village is called ‘Paul do mar’ and for years (before the tunnel linking the two) the two villages were mortal enemies. Maybe that’s how he remembered my name, a simple hatred association. But I don’t think so.

No surf on the west coast so we went over the top and checked north side, where I surfed a waves known as ‘chickens’. There were a couple of local surfers chilling in the carpark and they seemed real friendly. It’s pretty new school rocking up as a haole with your mum. It’s like, they say its best to show up alone or as 2 people max, but I reckon there’s no better accessory that a 60 year old woman to have in your crew in terms of not making the locals think you’re gonna be an a-hole at their spot.

One thing that puts me in a seriusly good mood is that an espresso here costs just 60 cents! I absolutely love that. I love ‘fusion’ cuisine too. I just bought some papo integral (wholemeal baps – there are a lot of wholemeal baps on display here if u know what i mean) and im going to eat them with thick slices of mature cheddar no.6 that Linda imported from Waitrose in Royal Berkshire. Yes!