Carissa Moore smashed an off-colour Steph Gilmore into a thousand pieces today in the final of the Rip Curl Pro Peniche Let's Hear It For The Girls.

Looking vulnerable on her backhand, the ratings leader and reigning she-World Champ was in comboland most of the final while Moore, who dominated all event blew up in overhead lefts in a strong offshore wind at Lagido.

Gilmore tried to get smart wit me during her semi-final post heat interview and gave me a one-word answer of 'yes'. I bet she thought that was pretty funny. Well I'm not fucking laughing, Nicholas. Fortunately, the great Zoroaster was watching down from on high and naused Gilmore in the final for thinking she had license to give it the large one.

In all fairness, it wasn't down to divine intervention, Carissa was on fire all event and all present were convinced the winner in her QF match up with Sally Fitz would go on to win the event, and weren't wrong.

I did notice Carissa's pops didnt make eye contact with her at any point during the contest until she had one. It reminded me a bit of Ron Burgundy's "no eye contact" bit with his imaginary kids in Anchorman, except without the humour, charisma, or funny-looking faceness of big Ron B. However I guess if it s a toss up between competitive dad and the clutches of unsavoury tour influences.... well whatever, she won.

I'm knackered from talking plop all day and starting to bore myself. Just watch the vid instead.

Ta.