Full Marks to the Germans

Just got back from the ISPO in Munich, got the Liz Early flight to Bordeaux this morn. As I was driving back in the pouring rain from Bordeaux some dude in a transit was too close for comfort given the treatcherous driving conditions so i made a regrettable gesture in his general direction, which he took exception to, followed me for about an hour and wanted to pull over at every service area for a rumble. What didn’t help is that as he was leaping about in his cab all angry, I made a gesture along the lines of ‘nice earing, bell-lord’ (he had a little gold stud) which wound him up even more. I reckon I would have sold my life fairly expensively if it had come to mortal combat (he didn’t look that hard), but i was tired so I let him drive off thinking he’d won. Anyway.

Wow! First off I wanna say i love the way they put a little bit of plastic on the cheese on your cheese sandwich so it doesn’t putrify with tomato juice, lettuce attrition, anything else. What a touch. That really is first class. I also like all the grains and pumpkin seeds and ting on top of the wholemeal baps that abound. I also love the fact that everyone speaks amazing english and can’t wait to bust it out. The germans were cool as, helpful, friendly, all that. In my hotel (opposite very many booby bars near the centralstation) they tidied up my stuff in a way only the germans could. It’s like they tidied, then re-tidied. They even put my stinking socks and cacks (only the socks were stinkin, ladies) in a plastic laundry bag, but like, folded them first. There were many kebab establishments along the road too which had at least three veggie options, the felafel being the pick. Even the taxi drivers were cool, and called me ‘sir.’ There are very many pretty things in Munich, I like they way they tie their hair back in a kind of ‘I-am-pretty-and-feminine-but-I-could-dominate-your-ass.’ fashion. On the tube each morning and evening I played a massive game of would you with myself and decided on most occasions that i would.

The onboard party on monday nite was off the heezy. Really super stuff. I got there early, ordered some Thai take out nearby (guess what: really tasty, inexpensive, hotties in there, called me sir…), and ate it. Very many snowboard type people came in high spirits and danced the night away. Jebron from volcom was dancing with 8 people at the same time much to the frustration of some of their partners and earned a new nickname, the cok(blok)topus. Even the airport was rad, all new and shiny, and full of aforementioned authoritive looking hotties in lufthansa uniforms. I could go on but I’m starting to repeat myself repeat myself.

That’s it for now. At the risk of sounding like a smug twat, on Sunday I’m going Hawaii and then onto some other islands somewhere in that ocean on a boat trip, which really sucks. It means I have to clean all the cold water wax off my boards and replace it with tropical, plus I gotta try and blag some smaller back fins for the quad coz I only have big ones. I hate this job. I just hope they’ve got the plastic on the cheese slices or I’m outta there in a flash…


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