Tyler Warren’s bar of soap was inspired by the Mini-Shhhhhh. Photo: Burkard

11. Borrowing a board from someone with the opposite stance and putting a massive front foot heel pressure ding is an offence. A pressure ding is still a ding. However, front foot heel pressure dinging a board ridden by someone with the same stance is fine… like, what were they expecting? You not to rip? Fill yer fucken boots.

12. It’s never OK to borrow one, ding it and then put it back in the rack without coming clean. Never.

13. When borrowing: if you ding it you fix it, if you break it buy it. End of.

14. The person whose car it is should be in charge of putting them in. He or she knows the lines or the angles. Never be afraid to ask for help.

15. Try to go through the rest of 2014 without saying ‘Mini Simmons’ ever, at all, even if you surf one every day. Thanks.