This girl has fallen for the old cute-dog-on-the-beach tactic. Photo: Ormerod

HOW TO GET NUFF PUNANI

with certified hunk Joss Ash

Joss Merlyn Ash is so handsome he was down to the final two to be the new James Bond, but he was actually too good looking so they gave it to Daniel Craig. Sometimes when I think if I really, really, really had to go to jail and you know, share a cell, I'd prob share it with Jossy. Anyway... Even if you don’t possess an impossibly gorgeous man face, it doesn’t mean you ain't gonna get no love. Joss explains...

1. Don´t perv (too much). If a smoking hot girl walks into a bar you’ll find pretty much all dudes will look around make general chitchat in her direction. Don´t be this guy, you’ll only merge in with the rest of them. If you don´t give her the attention she is accustomed too, you’ll find she will start to crave it from you.

(TIP: IGNORE HER)

2. What I’ve found is when you get yourself all looking sharp, showered and smelling good and looking to pull, you get nothing. The days when you just can´t be bothered to shower or change, you’re still stinking of your pissy wetsuit and not even thinking about it are the times when you’ll get chatting to a girl and wishing you had showered - or at the very least wiped your bum properly.

(TIP: THEY LOVE DIRT)

3. Give her space. OK she likes you, you haven’t scared her off and things are going good. But she’s not yours yet, so don´t act like she is. If another guy wants to chat to her, don´t watch. If you got the early stages right, she’ll be back.

(TIP: IGNORE HER A BIT MORE)

 

 

What I meant about the whole jail thing was you know, like, to save the world type thing, like, if I really had to... Come on don't pretend you've never thought about it...

4. Don´t talk about your ex´s. This is a major turn off and you will have her yawning in no time. Unless you know for a fact that she hates your ex’s guts and would do anything to stitch her. In that case, talk about nothing else.

(TIP: NO X-FACTOR)

5. It´s alright to make fun of yourself, maybe even her too, where appropriate. I think a lot of girls just like to have a laugh. A guy with a good sense of humor will win any day. Don´t be too serious, unless someone has just died.

(TIP: FUNNY!)

6. Be polite, but not subservient. Good old-fashioned chivalry is a nice touch, but try to avoid being too nice... no hot chick wants a spineless gimp.

(TIP: TREAT EM MEAN)

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