Cooking healthy is the new shaping your own board... everyone’s doing it! If it can keep Kelly on tour at 60 and still winning, then there must be something in it. You can’t get a more irie shred food than rice, it’s cheap, they eat it in Indo, it’s healthy, it’ll keep you surfing for hours.

But how to cook it best? Is that gluggy white sushi shit really OK? How do you get it perfect? So many rices, so few advices... well not any more!

1. If it’s healthy you want, it needs to be brown rice. That white stuff will do you no favours. White rice should be treated like pumping up and down on the nose of your board, it’s OK very, very occasionally.

2. Measure out a serving (e.g a coffee cup) into a saucepan. Wash it in fast running water, well. Drain, repeat. Get all the dust, dead bugs etc off, since you’re cooking by absorption here.

3. (Optional) If you can be arsed, let it soak in warm water for 15-30 mins. This increases the nutritional value, aids digestion, reduces cook time, but otherwise, if you can’t be arsed just...

4. Put washed, drained rice in saucepan. Then mea- sure in one-and-a half volumes of water (as in, if you did a cup of rice, put a cup and half of cold water.) If you went the pre-soak, make that a cup and a quarter.

5. Cover pan, turn on a high heat. If you don’t have a lidded saucepan, cover it with plate. If you do use a plate, use a tea towel to take it off... gets hot!

6. As soon as it starts to boil, turn heat right down and let it simmer for about ten mins, until all water is absorbed. Important: DO NOT TAKE THE LID OFF until the end.

7. Enjoy your perfect, fluffy, nutty, slightly chewy delicious wholesome brown rice. Serve with a curry, meat, fish, on its own if you’re one of them, whatevs. Cooking by absorption is way more healthy, otherwise, if you drain it, you’re basically pouring the nutrients down the drain, stupid.

One cup of cooked brown rice (200g) will cost you about 40p (at £1.80KG) and gives your rig fibre, manganese, magnesium, zinc and vitamins. Get into the habit of cooking rather than kooking your rice, that way, if Slater, Rasta or any of the dudes from Korduroy.tv drop in for dinner, everybody’s fully stoked!

"White rice should be treated like pumping up and down on the nose of your board, it’s OK very, very occasionally"