The Firewire Addvance was designed for the surfer looking for something with a bit more length and volume.

More flow, more paddle, more cruise. If your idea of surfboard design parameters start at 20 litres and end with a beefy 22.5L, this is almost certainly not the craft for your determined - dare I say joyless - wruggle (wiggle/struggle) to the beach.

However here at the philosophical shred fink tank known as The Dean Room, I, as founder and chief yogi, am an unashamed defender of seven-something shred, of mid-length mantra.

With the lineup mobility afforded by fast paddling, the Addvance is a prolific wave catcher that'll allow you to flirt up on the nose with cheater 5's, but still facilitate tighter, more radical turns and arcs in the pocket. The best of both worlds, you might say.

Firewire Addvance

Construction: Timber Tek / Linear Flex Bamboo

Dimensions: 7' x 22 3/4" x 3 1/16" 59.7L

Price: £610

firewiresurfboards.com

Phil Taylor and Raymond van Barneveld, if you prefer.

The first thing you'll notice about the Addvance is that it is a beast, at 7’0’’ the board is over 3 inches thick and it also feels like a beast once you're on the wave. I've never been in a four man bobsleigh but I think that this could be the surfing equivalent, down the line charging turns into a race for a Winter Olympic gold. 

Again, this isn't going to be everyone's cup of Earl Grey. If you aspire to replicate Griffin Cola at Lowers type meta tweaked lippers, look elsewhere.

But if you want to be on as many set waves as possible, to register somewhere on the speed power flow spectrum, the Addvance will surely help.    

The swallow tail sharpens your turning circle, allowing you to produce all of your favourite manoeuvres. This creates a ride that is the oft-cited 'fast AND loose', similar to an evening out with Lemmy Kilmister circa '79.

Moving further up the board, the vast majority of the volume sits under the chest creating super fast paddling and allowing early entry into the wave.

"At least I'd be going to purgatory with an extremely high wave count"

This extra volume is why only a mid-length can ever really be one board quiver; as the volume allows you to pick up small waves early making the session plentiful, and when the swell picks up the board turns into a toy gun so you can go proto charging.

At the pointy end, the nose has a bit of kick which might divide opinion. But focusing on the positives, this is good for steeper take off and will reduce the chances of you going down on the hellevator.

The board was tested at Graveyards, a punchy beach in the Hebrides, which provided great waves for testing the board, epic sunsets and a slightly creepy place to spend the night.

I'm not overly given to the supernatural, but no man is an emotional rock.

In the darkest, spookiest hour, the spirit world testing my science-based resolve, I did at least console myself with the knowledge that if Hebridean ghouls did come for me, if the unrested souls of Macleod fisherman departed did steal me away to the other side, at least I'd be going to purgatory with an extremely high wave count.