Unmellow things to happen whilst you’re out for a kayak no.1 : a Great White flips you out, then proceeds to push your kayak around until you eventually get picked up by a passing sail boat.

Moral of the story? You guessed it. Stay away from kayaks at all time, unless of course a river has flooded your town, and you’re paddling in supplies (Greg’s pasties, Kettle Chips) down the high street to a local primary school.