Have you ever dreamed of a toilet overlooking the beach at Pipe, one that would enable you to watch the Pipe Masters with your boardshorts round your ankles while you ease into a relaxing Pipeline poo? Perhaps the thought has never occurred to you. You, sir/madam, need to broaden your horizons.

If surfing is the sport of kings, then a comfortable toilet with a view of the most iconic wave in the world would surely be a suitable throne — a perfect confluence of pipelines. And sure enough, the Rip Curl Hawaii House has just such a toilet. In order to earn the right to sit on it, however, not only will you have to get yourself a place on the Rip Curl team but also wrestle off of it Kekoa Bacalso, who according to tour guide and fellow resident Matty Wilko is its present occupier. Kekoa is a big old boy, and I don’t imagine he’d be best pleased if you tried to usurp him mid-poo. Best of luck though.

Besides the aforementioned toilet, also of interest in the following video is the fact that Gabriel Medina and Mick Fanning, two of the three remaining title contenders, are both staying there –- in opposite rooms, in fact –- adding a further dimension to this year’s showdown. Wilkinson assures us he’s been keeping the peace, doing his best impersonation of an air-traffic controller to ensure their paths never cross.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2n1Ox95fojw