South Coast surfer Rich Thomson, 30, punched a “small shark” in the head after being bitten on the leg at Bantham, Devon, as reported on the BBC website.

Thomson suffered perhaps the mildest injuries ever recorded in shark history, coming away with a bit of a cut on his thumb and a bruised leg.

But whatever. It was a shark, it attacked him. It totes counts as a shark attack.

The shark, believed to be a smooth hound around 1m long, “grabbed me on the leg” said Thomson.

“I turned round and saw this little shark was on my thigh and wriggling its head side to side. I hit it on the head and it swam off.”

As well as a cut hand, Thomsom described where he was bitten as having “quite a sizeable bruise” which might be both the least gnarly, and most English description of a shark attack injury, ever.

Quite sizeable!

Bantham, famed for its rivermouth righthanders, brown water, an island named after a Ben Howard album and a fearsome peak known affectionately as ‘The Rip’, is now also on the map for sharks.

Whether or not that deters the hordes of Plymouth Uni students that descend every time its half a foot remains to be seen.