The only thing better than a regular sporting beef is a sports administration governing body beef. And the only thing better than that… is when it’s about stand up paddling.

Is it surfing with a paddle, or is it canoeing on a board, standing up?

That’s the question you’ve never pondered.

Well the BBC, no less, report that the ISA have locked horns with the ICF (canoes, obvs, not the legendary West Ham football hooligans, the Inter City Firm) as to whether the sport should come under the jurisdiction of surfing or canoeing in the olympics.

“Up until last year there was no interest from the ICF,” said ISA president Fernando Aguerre.

Touché!

“A person using a paddle as a main form of propulsion whilst on a craft in water is canoeing/paddling” countered ICF spokesperson Simon Toulson.

Meeeeow!

The WSL have thus far not commented publicly.

Our own panel of sages, thinkers and influencers convened this morning over tea and after a good couple of hours in a locked room emerged having decided they “Couldn’t give a flying fuck whether it was deemed surfing or canoeing, so as long as they stay the fuck away from us.”