THE SPORTS ILLUSTRATED AWARD FOR MOST THOROUGH PRE-MATCH WARM-UP: ANASTASIA ASHLEY

“A solid warm-up is an essential precursor to any sort of physical activity,’ Graham told us. “It helps you stay free of injury and avoid stiffness the following day, and yet so many people don’t take the trouble to do it properly. This young lady seems to have the right idea.”

On the back of her now-famous warm-up routine Anastasia landed herself a place in 2014’s Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition. This additional footage of the photoshoot only emerged recently. “I am hopelessly, unbearably, irrevocably in love,” added Graham. “I shall never love another.”

THE JAY JAY OKOCHA AWARD FOR SAND-BOTTOMED AFRICAN POINTBREAK INSANITY: SHARED BETWEEN KOA SMITH, JORDY SMITH AND THE STRANGE RUMBLINGS CREW

Nothing can top Koa Smith’s wave at Skeleton Bay in Namibia – the longest barrel ever caught on film, perhaps the longest barrel ever full stop. Forty-three whole seconds in the tube when most of us scream with uncontainable joy after just one. The footage is scarcely credible.

But everybody already knew about Donkey Bay, and there was another sand-bottomed African point we also wanted to celebrate, this one on the other side of the continent and breaking the other way. It’s worth buying Strange Rumblings In Shangri La for the Mozambique section alone. Jordy Smith just happened to be there too, and he put out a short clip of his own featuring several minutes’ worth of mesmerising tube-rides. “In truth I have no idea who any of these people are,” said Graham. “And I’m not actually Graham Poll at all.”