"What's going on?!" -- Matt Wilkinson, perplexed, after winning his second straight world tour event.

“After Wilko rung the bell, Micro walked off to a quiet corner and made a phone call to his wife Gemma, explaining that he might not be home for two nights. At Snapper, it was three"  — Sean Doherty for Surfer.

"And therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; It tolls for thee"

“The Flat-Section Bog Rail Pro Brought To You By Slavery" — Rory Parker, Beachgrit.

“Yeah, why wouldn’t you? It’s way better than Bells!" -- Kelly Slater, in response to the question, "Do you like Winki?"

"Err, it’s just ah, the history, and it’s a pretty good little venue to watch the action ‘cause everyone’s perched on a cliff. I mean it’s not the world’s greatest wave…" -- Taj Burrow, when asked what made Bells Beach such a unique place.

“'Wilko', as Wilkinson is known, surfed with typical refinement throughout the contest"

“It’s definitely looking really clean right now on the faces" — Strider Wasilewski on the final day of the men's contest.

“As good as it gets" — Joe Turpel on the final day of the men's contest.

“'Wilko', as Wilkinson is known, surfed with typical refinement throughout the contest" — Fred Pawle takes a rather different, apparently non-ironic tack this time round in his contest write-up for the newspaper The Australian. Pawle wrote that Wilkinson "surfs like a yobbo" following the latter's victory at Snapper, and was subsequently called out by Wilko on Instagram and subject to online abuse from Wilko fans. "His wide-kneed bottom turn is as refined as a nightclub dance move," Pawle had written. "His approach to the lip looks as graceful as a suburban front-rower’s shoulder charge." Typical refinement... Really Fred?

“Yeah, why wouldn’t you? It’s way better than Bells!"

glenn hall and matt wilkinson

glenn hall and matt wilkinson

"No man is an Iland, intire of it selfe; every man is a peece of the Continent, a part of the maine; if a Clod bee washed away by the SeaEurope is the lesse, as well as if a Promontorie were, as well as if a Mannor of thy friends or of thine owne were; any mans death diminishes me, because I am involved in Mankinde; And therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; It tolls for thee" -- John Donne, from 'Meditation XVII', Devotions upon Emergent Occasions.

“Mate, he doesn’t need to stay home during an event. He just needs to go out one night a week instead of four"

"Who in the fuck bought 142 shots of vodka?" -- the morning after the night before, Surfing Mag staff photographer Corey Wilson (@leafmonky) inspects Wilko's after-party bar tab.

“I’ve been thinking about that for 15 years. I will say even my mum texted me and said ‘maybe you should think about it’. She goes ‘but then again, I said that to you before and you came back and won the world title that year’" — Kelly Slater on retirement.

"Wow...! Congrats. That's insane. Now quick... test his ! I need some of what he's got" -- Kelly Slater @kellyslater.

"My mum texted me and said ‘maybe you should think about it’"

“I do feel that when you watch the traditional backhand line that there has not been as much exploration into the possibilities of backhand surfing as there has been on the front side. If you take Conner or John John for example there’s just so many variations of the frontside turn that they have to add variety to their attack but I don’t feel that’s been explored quite so much on the backhand. The traditional straight up, straight down lots of board in the pocket, in the lip, is so consistent, delivers results, delivers points and is so consistent that people haven’t strayed far from that. So I think there’s a lot of opportunity, personally, I think there’s opportunity in the exploration of that backhand line" — Barton Lynch.

“I think we’re seeing two of the guys maybe pushing the envelope with just variety on the backhand meeting in the semi-finals" — Ronnie Blakey, in response to Barton, on Italo Ferreira and Matt Wilkinson. Matt Wilkinson? Backhand? Variety? Come on Ron.

"Bigger problem for Matt, here and at Snapper, and he's not getting dinged for it, is not much variety" -- Matt Warshaw @mattwarshaw.

“Strider looks like a man in a parallel universe where cows are at the top of the food chain and they make leather from humans"

"The best quote I heard in the wake of his Snapper win went something like, 'Mate, he doesn’t need to stay home during an event. He just needs to go out one night a week instead of four' — Sean Doherty for Surfer.

"Who in the fuck bought 142 shots of vodka?"

“Look into your hearts, Kolohe haters, and admit that Brother deserved to win that heat" — Matt Warshaw @mattwarshaw, after Kolohe Andino's defeat to Sebastian Zietz.

“Kolohe just got jobbed, such absurdly horrible judging" — Nihilist 999 @nihilist999

"I still like the three turns as Steph's best ride, the 7.2..."

"It's gonna be a good score but I can't digest an 8.3 there..."

"Maybe a touch better [than her 7.2] but I don't see it being that 8.4 requirement" -- Ronnie Blakey, Ross Williams and Rosie Hodge on Stephanie Gilmore's heat-winning 8.67 against Malia Manuel.

"I spilt my heart all over out there"

“WTF? They should just put Carissa straight into the men's semifinals…" — Sir Gorik Badinskas @Badinskas.

"If ever a surfer deserved a film crew for free surfs, it's . She's the most stylish blend of power and grace since Tom Curren" -- Not Dane Reynolds @dranolds.

"Three consecutive big turns on Sal [Fitzgibbon]’s opening wave were followed by a mid-wave claim in the form of a brief soul-arch over a flat section — possibly a subconscious attempt to compensate for the fact her boobies touch her knees when she bottom-turns" -- Billy Wilson on Surf Europe.

"I had one good idea and the rest was history"

“Strider looks like a man in a parallel universe where cows are at the top of the food chain and they make leather from humans" — Not Dane Reynolds @dranolds.

“I spilt my heart all over out there" — Mason Ho after taking down de Souz.

“If you want to use ocular swabs endorsed by the winner of Rnd1 Heat 7, I'd suggest picking up Kai Otton's Eye Cottons.  They're the best." — Full-On Steez IV @DoubleEpskiSesh.

“Is this the best use of the world’s best surfers’ phenomenal skills? To grimly tag a wind-eaten four-foot pain in the ass?"

“An interesting sidenote to this event is that John John’s management approached Glen Hall at the start of the year to see if the diminutive Irishman would be interested in coaching John. The deal never went through" — Sean Doherty for Surfer.

“The plain truth is @johnjohnflorenc was the most exciting surfer in the comp. It's a drag 2 see those huge walls & think #WWJJFD" — Surf Criteria @ndurdog.

“Is this the best use of the world’s best surfers’ phenomenal skills? To grimly tag a wind-eaten four-foot pain in the ass?" — Derek Rielly for BeachGrit.

Sally Fitzgibbons bottom turn

Sally Fitzgibbons bottom turn

carissa moore beats steph gilmore at bells

carissa moore beats steph gilmore at bells

“I think because in the early days there were less of us, and we were 2nd class citizens almost. Wayne Lynch tells a story back in the day where in the Australian titles they wanted to run separate divisions for goofies and naturals" — Barton Lynch on the plight of the goofies.

“It could be an all-out end-section bash-athon, that third heat of Round 4" — Ronnie Blakey on the match-up between Jordy Smith, Mick Fanning and Conner Coffin.

“Look more excited! You just won a jersey!"

"I had one good idea and the rest was history" — Simon Anderson.

“Sometimes I imagine Simon Anderson as a veteran rock star, dying to play his new stuff while the arena chants "BELLS '81!" "THE THRUSTER!"" — Full-On Steez IV @DoubleEpskiSesh.

“Look more excited! You just won a jersey!" — Pete Mel to the evidently unimpressed kid who'd just won himself a WSL John John Florence rash vest.

“After Matt Wilkinson won through to the semis, he crossed paths with Mick Fanning in the surfer’s area. Wilko looked at him and said, “You take care of your side, I’ll take care of mine, and I’ll see you in the final." Glen Hall – Wilko’s coach and a guy who has seen what happens when either Mick or Wilko win – replied, “And I’ll see you both in the casino in Melbourne" — Sean Doherty for Surfer.

glenn hall

glenn hall

“Kelly Slater’s got an interesting draw against the purple-headed warrior" — Ronnie Blakey ahead of Slater's heat with Timothee Bisso.

“This is where all the meat and potatoes come from" — Martin Potter on the inside section.

"Could it be that Glen Hall, though distinct in philosophy, nationality, accent and stature, is in fact Claudio Ranieri?" -- Billy Wilson for Surf Europe.

coach glenn hall

coach glenn hall