Haters, hecklers, naysayers, critics take pot shots at the webcast all.

And why wouldn’t they (we)?

It’s probably not for a love of hate, it’s just… pretty much impossible not to.

Which brings us to an observation a shipbuilder named Danny Waters once made. “You’re lookin at it the wrong way mate!” he bellowed into my ear, red faced and drunken. “It’s a woman with a cock…”

Danny’s broader philosophical point was that it’s all a matter of perspective, of how you look at it.

(Rather than a man with boobs and a surgically-turned-inside-out phallus (booooo) it’s in fact a beautiful lovely woman with the minor inconvenience of a dong (yay!))

Thus the conventional hypothesis; the webcast is doing a terrible job, by making the awesome of surfing seem dull, is null.

Rather, the webcast is doing an awesome job of making the dull of competitive surfing actually (semi) watchable… no mean feat.

It’s two dudes sitting on their boards, with their backs to you, almost all the time.

An average 25 minute heat is graced with under 2 minutes actual riding of surfboard at best, and ten times that amount of dudes sitting on their boards, with their backs to you. That’s what it is.

Snooker tournaments have huge crowds and TV audiences in their millions, but only one of the two combatants ever sits down at any one time, the other one is always up at the table doing the snooker! They are never both not doing the snooker…

51 heats of two men sitting down for twenty minutes per heat, times 11 events in year… added up over a season, if Snapper starts on a Monday morning, it’s two dudes sitting down until Wednesday… Wednesday next week!

Reckon Pottz n’ Turps might need to fill for a bit?