Today, Rd1 and a bit of 2 happened down in Hossegor town. I was there, all the day.

Picture 22

Waves: 5-7ft (7ft?!?) B+

Wind: Offshore until exactly 2.56pm... A-

Judging: B+

Catering: A- (veg lasana by Nori Boy)

Toilets: B+ I liked em (the eco sawdust ones) but Txomin thought the seat was too high to take a plop and in the end just couldn't go.

Surfing: B+ Good, but not mind-blowing. Room for improvement.

Women: B- While a hot, sunny day, not a weekend, so...

People who won Rd1 heats were: Taylor, Jasdon, Fanning, Owen, Big Jords, Kelly, Taj, Julian, Travis Logie (!), Ace, Michel, Kerrzy. Rd2 winners: Ramzi (!), Mimi, Dane.

Graviere was pretty damn good and the sea blue and warm enough for a teenage Hawaiian (John John) to trunk the fucker.

Best stare down: Patrick Flores at judges after Mimi's Rd1 loss.

Best hair comment: "Owen needs to cut his hair" - Jessi Miley-Dyer. "I think he just needs more volume..." Rosie Hodge

Best march up admin area and down waving a ciggie demanding: 'I need ze elicopteur for ze eat of Kelly': Bernard Narbé

Best ASP CEO chat: (Me) "What does a gold wrist band mean Brodie?" (he had a gold one)

(Brodie) "It means I've got a massive cock..."

Joel Parko ended in rage and smashed the beejeepers out of his board in the locker room. Dane dicked DeSouza despite doing his best to lose the heat and Mimi just did up Marco who fell three times doing exactly the same thing (sit down backside bottom turn after a big bs move). Overall it was pretty awesome and about as much fun a man can have staring at pumping, blue, lovely ocean of waves without going in it.